


Who's Keeping Score

by Duochanfan



Category: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-03 01:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1726094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duochanfan/pseuds/Duochanfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q and Bond go head to head in more ways than one, but who exactly is keeping score of who wins the arguments?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own James Bond, just messing around in the sandbox for a bit, I'll try and put them all back when I'm done, no guaranties.
> 
> This is going to be part of a one-shot series, all connected. With a theme of who wins their arguments, or rather who gets the last word. I'm not sure it if will end up as 00Q, but it might, knowing what I'm like.
> 
> If you have prompts for this one, review message me on [tumblr](http://duochanfan.tumblr.com/post/87506953823/need-to-write).

James walked confidently down to Q-Branch. He had returned from a mission, and for once, hadn't been hurt. It was something of a miracle since he had blown up a number of vehicles as well as a building before leaving Shanghai. He quickly punched in the code to get into Q-Branch, security was tight, though he knew it was mainly due to the new Q.

"I swear the kid is paranoid." James whispered as he approached the middle of the room.

"I would rather be thought of as Paranoid than be dead because security was lax." Came the voice of Q, he stood at the desk near the front of the room, his back to him.

James looked around wondering how the hell the kid had heard, "What the…" he murmured.

"Oh, and for your information 007, I'm not a kid." He then said as he turned, pushing his glasses up his nose a little. He gave James a pointed look as he turned back to what he was doing.

James walked forwards, as a tray was slide out to the side. He looked to it and then to Q, who was still busily typing, staring at the large screens before him as data rushed over them. He gave a sigh as he pulled out his gun, which was in two pieces. The transmitter was just one tiny piece of broken plastic and a little bit of the circuitry.

Q didn't even stop his typing as he then asked, "and may I ask what ludicrous excuse you have for the state of my tech this time 007?"

James paused for a moment, "Well," he began, "the gun broken when I threw it, need to make it stronger." The words earned a glare from the younger man, "As for the Transmitter, I believe it was blown up, and that was all I could recover." He grinned, unashamed.

Q looked to him and said, "I believe you are not telling me everything when it comes to the gun. I looked at the surveillance in the area, I saw you throw it, hit what you aimed for, then it ended up under a tank."

"Well, it still broke too easily. Should be able to withstand that." He protested, a smirk on his face.

Q narrowed his eyes as he told him, "I think I shall have to seriously rework what I send you out with, you haven't brought any of my tech back in months." He huffed a little, "be warned thought Bond, you will be going with a water pistol on your next mission. I would seriously think about investing in some guns yourself."

"You wouldn't do that." He smiled, confident.

Q's narrow gaze bore through him as he said, "Out of my domain, and you shall just have to wait and see when it comes to your next mission 007." He then turned back to his screens as he added, "I always keep my word."

**James - 0, Q - 1**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own James Bond, just messing around in the sandbox for a bit, I'll try and put them all back when I'm done, no guaranties.
> 
> This is going to be part of a one-shot series, all connected. With a theme of who wins their arguments, or rather who gets the last word. I'm not sure it if will end up as 00Q, but it might, knowing what I'm like.
> 
> If you have prompts for this one, review message me on [tumblr](http://duochanfan.tumblr.com/post/87506953823/need-to-write).

James looked to M and nodded his head, another mission. The first in over a week, and he had to admit he was getting a little antsy about not going anywhere since Shanghai.

"Q has your equipment ready, so please go and see him, and try not to blow anything up this time. This is a simple intel gathering mission, and I would rather it didn't turn into a international incident." M warned him, a look on his face telling James that he would be in trouble if he did anything wrong.

"Of course Sir," he smirked confidently.

"Get moving." M said as he looked down to the reports on his desk.

James turned and walked out of the room, sending a charming smile over to Moneypenny as she worked at her desk. She sent a smile back as he walked past. He headed down to Q-Branch, punched in the code and headed to Q's office, he could see the man sitting over his desk through the glass wall.

With a confidant swagger he walked over to the door and knocked, getting the usual come in call from inside.

"Q," he greeted with a smirk on his face.

"007, always a pleasure." Q smirked back as he pulled out a slightly larger box than normal.

"My tech I take it?" he questioned as he walked into the room and stood before Q's desk.

"Yes, as ordered," he told him as he pushed the box forwards, "and as promised," he almost purred that time he spoke.

The sound sent a shiver down James' spine, a rather pleasant one if he dared to admit. He ignored it and picked up the case and opening it up. He frowned when he saw what was inside, inside was his normal gun and transmitter, but there was also a bright pink water pistol.

"And do try to bring all three back in one piece 007, I will start charging you." He said with an eyebrow raised.

James took his gun, transmitter, and put them away. He then picked up the water pistol, "May I ask why I might need this?"

"I thought that would be obvious even to you Bond," Q said, amusement clear in his voice as he looked up to the agent.

"I don't think we have ever had a water pistol being used during a mission?" he questioned.

"Never know when you might throw your gun again. Thought you would like a back up, and I did make a promise that I would send one with you." Q said, straight-faced. A tiny upturn of his mouth giving away his amusement.

James snorted, "I think I'll leave it behind."

"No you wont, I'll report that you didn't have all the tech needed. You know what M is like when you do that." Q smirked even more.

James sighed he put the water pistol away, gave a shape nod, turned and left Q-Branch, Q smirking all the while.

**James - 0, Q - 2**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I do hope you will enjoy these, its a way for me to help with the stress of moving house soon, which we may have a moving date, around the 17th June.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own James Bond, just messing around in the sandbox for a bit, I'll try and put them all back when I'm done, no guaranties.
> 
> This is going to be part of a one-shot series, all connected. With a theme of who wins their arguments, or rather who gets the last word. I'm not sure it if will end up as 00Q, but it might, knowing what I'm like.
> 
> If you have prompts for this one, review message me on [tumblr](http://duochanfan.tumblr.com/post/87506953823/need-to-write).

Q stood at the table, information going over the screens before him, one of them showing a picture of where James Bond was, the others showing him schematics of the building, and security footage from inside. Behind him, Tanner, Eve and M stood, watching the mission, as they did on the odd occasion.

"Well Q, where am I to go this time?" James asked his Quartermaster, as he glanced up to the camera that he knew was watching his every move.

"If you would hurry up and get into the second door on the left, you will find what you need, though do be warned there are two people just waiting for you inside." Q answered as he looked to the information before him, "So sorry to ruin your surprise party, but you know I don't like them, and thought you may even like the small warning yourself."

"No, never been a fan of surprises, good or bad," James said as he opened the door and fired two successive shots into the room, "The surprise has been taken care of, now, what do you want me to do with this computer?" he asked, as he went around the room and looked to the screen, "hmm, should destroy it, not connected to anything." He added softly.

"I know, and yes, it should be destroyed, just upload my code onto it first." Q instructed.

James did as he was asked and the code was uploaded Q smirked when the information was copied and sent to him.

"What now?" James asked.

"Destroy the computer, none of the information was copied anywhere else, so we will have the only copy." Q told him as he glanced over to M.

"Make sure to destroy it completely that it will be irretrievable." M called out, Q quickly relaying the order.

"You know, I may have just the thing." James grinned.

On screen they watched as James pulled out the pink water pistol that Q had given him when he went off on his mission.

"007 what are you doing?" Q questioned, a frown marring his features.

"What you told me to, destroying the computer, since I don't want to waist precious ammo," James said, a smirk on his face as he filled the water pistol up with water from a jug, "I think this will work wonders."

With a dark chuckled James moved back a little and then started firing the water into the PC tower. It didn't take long for it to spark and soon set alight. It burned quickly. He added a bit more water to the electrical plugs nearby and they sparked as well.

It didn't take long for things to be burning up properly in the room. It was hot, so James quickly made his way out.

"I think that will work Q," James said smugly. "Though I think you might want to start giving us all water pistols, they come in handy." With that he signed off.

**James - 1, Q - 2**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos, glad you are enjoying this. I now have a time frame for moving, which is around 17th June.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whos
> 
> I don't own James Bond, just messing around in the sandbox for a bit, I'll try and put them all back when I'm done, no guaranties.
> 
> This is going to be part of a one-shot series, all connected. With a theme of who wins their arguments, or rather who gets the last word. I'm not sure it if will end up as 00Q, but it might, knowing what I'm like.
> 
> If you have prompts for this one, review message me on [tumblr](http://duochanfan.tumblr.com/post/87506953823/need-to-write).

**Who's Keeping Score?**

There was almost a bounce in James Bond's step as he headed down to Q-Branch once more. His mission was over, the debrief already over and done with. The last thing he had to do was to give back the tech to Q. This time he couldn't wait until he saw the mans face.

He walked quickly through the corridors, giving a nod to one or two of the other agents that actually greeted him. A lot of them tended to stay away from him. He reached Q-Branch and punched in the code and the glass doors opened.

James walked in and looked around for Q, he was nowhere in sight. He then looked over to the office and frowned when he saw that the windows had been darkened so no one could look in. He went over to R, who was standing at one of the workbenches, leaning over someone else as they worked quickly.

"R," he greeted.

She turned to look at him and gave him a smile in greeting, "Welcome back 007."

"Good to be back, where's Q, have some tech to hand back over?" he questioned her softly.

"He's in his office, we got some data in from 002 a few hours ago, he's already going through it and making some sense of it all," she answered softly as she then turned back to the woman she was watching over and said, "No Petra, like this." Quickly taking over.

James smiled and shook his head and then headed over to Q's office. He knocked on the door and waited.

"Come in," came the smooth tones from inside.

James opened the door and walked in, "Afternoon Q." He greeted as he closed the door behind him

"007, nice to see you got back safe and sound, hope the ride wasn't unpleasant?" he smirked over to him, greenish eyes bright.

"It was…" he paused trying to find a word that could convey what he felt thanks to Q booking him into economy, "forgettable."

"Tech please, and I hope you have brought everything back." Q said as he slid over the tray.

James quickly put down his gun, in pristine condition, his earwig, transmitter and then the pink water pistol, "all there, and all in good nick."

Q looked at them and glanced over to James, "Well, that does make a vast difference from last time, and the time before that." He said, raising an eyebrow. "Though I'm surprised the water pistol is still around, thought you would have got rid of it?"

"Thought it might come in handy again, though I didn't need to lob it off someone's head this time," he smirked as he turned and walked towards the door, only to stumble when something hit him on the head.

"Well I did," Q huffed as he turned back to his work only to duck when the water pistol flew towards him, Q smirked over to him and said, "Ha, missed."

**James - 1, Q - 3**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own James Bond, just messing around in the sandbox for a bit, I'll try and put them all back when I'm done, no guaranties.
> 
> This is going to be part of a one-shot series, all connected. With a theme of who wins their arguments, or rather who gets the last word. I'm not sure it if will end up as 00Q, but it might, knowing what I'm like.
> 
> If you have prompts for this one, review message me on [tumblr](http://duochanfan.tumblr.com/post/87506953823/need-to-write).

James didn't have a mission, well he did, but not one that M would have given him. It was more of a personal mission, and one he didn't want to fail. It had been going through his mind now for the last two months, and he had enough. It was time to put it into practice. First thing first, he needed to get into Q-Branch once more.

He punched in the code and walked in. Q was at the main desk, standing before the screens. He wasn't guiding anyone, since James couldn't hear him talking to anyone. James moved forwards and spotted R standing at one of the workbenches nearby. He grinned, time to put the plan into action.

"R, wonderful to see you again," James called out softly as he went over to the slightly younger woman.

R turned and frowned at him a moment, before she got a side glance of Q, who was paying attention, "James," she flirted a little back.

James couldn't help the delighted grin on his face, "My Darling R," he said softly as he went over to her and took a hand in his and twirled her around, she ended up pressed against his muscled chest, looking up to him, smiling.

"Big softy," she said as she patted his chest affectionately.

James smiled down to her as he said, "Only for you."

He then twirled her around again and dipped her, placing a kiss on her lips.

"Flirt," she whispered, "now what are you trying to pull?" she asked, her voice soft so only James would be able to hear her.

"You know what I'm trying to pull sweets," He grinned as he righted them.

"Hmmm," she hummed as she looked over to her boss and then back to James, "yes, I believe I do," he let her go as she winked to him, "you are wonderful as ever James." She said, her voice like music.

"And as always, there is only one I shall do it for," he gave her a sweeping bow as she curtsied back, using her lab coat instead of a dress, as she was wearing trousers.

"If the two of you have finished flirting," Q said as he was now stood facing the two of them.

James and R could both see the hint of jealousy in his eyes as he looked between the two, the jealousy mainly aimed at R.

R smiled to her boss and nodded her head, "I suppose we are," she went to James and hugged him as she whispered in his ear, "I think he does like you. Best foot forward James."

"Thank you R, a pleasure as always," James nodded as he looked to Q, "Sorry Q, next time I'll twirl you around the room." He grinned as he saw Q blush slightly.

James gave a quick wink to R as he then walked back out of Q-Branch, part one of the mission was a success.

**James - 2, Q - 3**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any little prompts you want to see, that work with what I have so far, send them my way, I'm beginning to run out of ideas!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own James Bond, just messing around in the sandbox for a bit, I'll try and put them all back when I'm done, no guaranties.
> 
> This is going to be part of a one-shot series, all connected. With a theme of who wins their arguments, or rather who gets the last word. I'm not sure it if will end up as 00Q, but it might, knowing what I'm like.
> 
> If you have prompts for this one, review message me on [tumblr](http://duochanfan.tumblr.com/post/87506953823/need-to-write).

**Who's Keeping Score?**

James smirked as he walked into Q-branch once more. He had been going down there often, so much so that the Minions were beginning to actually talk to him. Normally they would just step out of the way, as they did with any double-oh or agent that walk through the room. James looked around and frowned, Q was nowhere in sight. He looked over to the man's office, the glass was clear, but no one was inside.

"R," James greeted the woman as he walked over to her, she was standing where Q normally was.

"James," she turned and smiled, watery blue eyes alight with mischief, "Good to see you, and as you can see, he isn't here at the moment."

"I can see," James smiled, as he then added, "So where is our illustrious Quartermaster?"

"Down on the firing range, he wishes to test a few weapons out." She answered him softly, "We made a few modifications and we want to make sure that they work before we put them to use in the field."

"Right." James nodded, "I think I'll go down and see him." He smirked a little.

R shook her head, "You be good to him James." She warned him, "I know where you live, and I was a double-oh before I joined Q-Branch, don't you forget that."

James looked to her and smiled, "I will, just have to make sure of a few things first."

She nodded her head, "All right, I'll trust you this time. But James, make sure you're serious about this before you do anything."

James nodded and gave her a reassuring smile as he then left Q-Branch and headed down to the Firing Range. He stepped in and looked at Q, who was looking over a weapon in his hand.

"Hello Q," James said.

Q put the gun down and turned, "James, should have known you would come and irritate me again."

"Now, come on Q, I don't do that, though I didn't think you could shoot a gun," he smirked as he walked over.

"Of course I know how, I test all weapons myself." He rolled his eyes turning back to the bench.

"How about a little contest then, best shot wins, if I win you'll come to dinner with me, if you win, you chose." James suggested.

Q looked to him and nodded, "Very well, five cross hairs, with five shots, hit them all."

James smirked as he went up and got himself settled, he quickly fired off five rounds, and then Q did the same in another lane. James looked smug as he looked to his target sheet; only one was slightly off, but the rest perfect. He went to Q and showed him.

Q smirked and then showed his own; they were all perfect, "Seems, you owe me."

Q then put his weapon away and left James staring after him with a look of complete shock on his face.

James - 2, Q - 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a while to update. Been busy getting the house sorted. Almost all done. Now going to try and stick to a schedule when it comes to my writing.
> 
> Hope you are all like this so far, thank you for the Kudos and comment.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own James Bond, just playing around for a while.

James walked into Q-Branch once again. He had been on mission for the last three days, and Q had once more gotten him home safe, and without injuries. He had already given his tech back. James tapped in the code and then walked inside. He had done the last of his paper work, and since the day was late he wanted something to eat.

"Q," James greeted the man as he was hovering over one of the workbenches at the side of the room.

He looked up and turned around a little, "James, what can I do for you?" he asked, wondering why James was there. Tech was already back, even thought it was a little scratched.

"Well, shift will be over in a few more minutes, was wondering if you would like to come and have dinner with me?" he asked, his voice as hopeful.

"I have other things to do 007," Q resisted as he turned back to the bench.

"Q, you've been here since three yesterday morning, you've not been to the cafeteria at all." James almost pleaded with him.

Q turned back to him, "And how would you know that? You've only came back this morning?" he questioned the double-oh.

"People talk," was James' simple answer as he looked to the younger man, he was pale and looked tired.

Q huffed a sigh, "It seems that they do little else."

"Come to dinner, have a bit of a break, go home and sleep." James told him as he walked over. The room was empty except for R and another minion.

"007…" Q began to say.

"Will you please call me James, or Bond, don't mind which, I'm more than just a number." James said softly as he now stood beside the other.

"Bond, I have a few more things to do before I can leave. I need to finish off this lock pick prototype before anything." He told him, giving in a little on the last name.

James shook his head, he placed a hand on Q's arm and made the man face him, "You are coming to dinner with me and then I am taking you home. You will not argue with me any more Q. You're exhausted, I can see that, and from what I've heard not eaten anything since you got here." He told him, breaking no argument with his words this time, "You can't survive on tea alone Q."

"I have too much to do at the moment," he huffed as he tried to free his arm from the slightly tighter grip.

"No arguments this time. You're coming to dinner, and I will drag you if you don't agree." James told him, looking at him closely.

"But…"

"No but's, you're coming." He said once more.

Finally Q nodded in agreement, seeing that he wouldn't be able to say no to James. James smiled and let him finish his work before he took him out for dinner.

James - 3, Q - 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comment and the kudos, glad you are enjoying this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own James Bond, just messing around for a little bit.

Dinner had been wonderful, both had enjoyed each others company, thought Q didn't want to admit to anything. The younger man was unsure of what James wanted from him. He knew that he enjoyed their little arguments, even when he lost. There was just something else, and he could admit that when he had taken R for a dance around Q-Branch, he had felt that stab of jealousy within him. James pulled the car up to his apartment complex and looked over to him.

"I hope you don't mind if we do this again." James suggested softly, "I really enjoyed spending a little time getting to know you better."

Q thought for a moment, glancing out of the window and then back to James, "I did enjoy dinner with you. It was interesting." He was unsure of what to say, "I wouldn't mind doing it again."

James nodded and spoke softly, "That's good to hear," he quickly got out of the car and went around to Q's side before the other had chance to even open the door fully.

James held out his hand as soon as door was open. Q hesitated for a moment before he placed his own hand in James' and was helped from the car. "Rather gentlemanly of you." He murmured to James, smiling.

James chuckled as the two walked towards the door, still holding hands. "It's just the way I am, I hope that is all right with you?" he queried a little as he glanced over.

"I don't mind, just don't make a habit of it. I'm still a man you know." Q replied with a little smirk.

James stopped them and made Q face him, "I know that. I have this urge to pamper you a little. I can't help it. I know you give as good as you get, been on the end of it more times that I can count. I treat you as someone I am beginning to care about." He paused for a moment as he then added, "There are precious few left."

Q squeezed his hand and nodded, "I still have family, though I don't see them all that often. I know they're there and they'll be watching me as I watch them."

James smiled with a nod, "Good to hear that you aren't alone. I don't think you should ever be alone."

Q chuckled, "my family can be…" he paused for a moment, trying to think of something to describe his two elder brothers and his parents, "annoying, but I do care about them, deeply."

"All family is suppose to be annoyed," James said sadly, he thought the same about his own until they were gone, he took a breath and looked to Q and smiled, "Well, I shall say goodnight." And with a gentle kiss on Q's hand, leaving the man blushing, he turned and walked away, giving a quick wink over his shoulder as he got back into his car.

James - 4, Q - 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comment and the Kudos. Glad you are enjoying it so far.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own James Bond, just playing around.

James looked down to the little stowaway in his arms and smiled as he petted the grey fur. He couldn't help it, the tiny kitten was too cute for words. Even he, a hardened assassin and cold bloodied killer couldn't help but go gooey at a cute kitten. He looked to M, who had an amused look on his face as James gave a verbal report.

"You can go double-O seven." M said as he finished listening. Even he was beginning to get a little distracted by the purring kitten in Bonds arms.

"Yes sir." James grinned as he turned and walked out of the office and grinned to Eve "Know anyone that will be all right looking after a cat?" he asked her.

"Try Q, he likes them." Eve said as she reached out to give the kitten a fuss, "Didn't think you were the kittie type." She smirked to him.

"I am sensitive," he said with a straight face as he brought the kitten up to his face and made sure the face was looking towards Eve, "Who couldn't love this little face,"

"Which one are you talking about?" she winked.

James chuckled, "Right, going to see Q."

Eve waved goodbye as James and the kitten headed down to Q-Branch. He put in his code and walked in. He looked around and could see through the glass to Q's office that was where the other man was. He walked over with confidence, the cat still in his arms, stroking him, as though he was villain. There were little coos coming from the Minions. R came over quickly to give the kitten a fuss.

"What are you going to be doing with the kitten?" she asked.

"See if a certain Q wouldn't mind looking after her." He smirked as he looked to the small creature, still purring happily.

"Well, good luck." She said with a smile, "don't know if you'll need it though, that ones a cutie."

James chuckled as he walked into Q's office. "Afternoon Q." He said.

"Afternoon to you Bond, equipment on the tray as normal." He said without looking as he quickly pushed the metal tray towards James.

"Okay," he said as he used one hand to put his, for once, fully intact equipment onto it. "Have something else for you, would you be all right in taking in a sweet little kittie that stowed aboard my transport home?"

"No." Q said, still not looking towards the other.

"Q, " he started, "Just do one thing for me and then I shall leave you alone." James bargained.

Q pushed his glasses up his nose and turned to Bond. He stared at the kitten was level with James' face. The cute little kitten gave a little meow and Q sighed heavily.

"Fine, I'll take the kitten." Q huffed.

James handed the kitten over, "I'll be back with something for her," he walked out smirking, "No one can resist a cute face."

James - 5, Q - 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comment and the kudos, so happy that you are liking this so far.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I do hope you will enjoy these, its a way for me to help with the stress of moving house soon.


End file.
